Browsing All posts tagged under »Rectal«


November 5, 2015


I have to tilt this computer screen towards my belly button just so I have a chance to read it due to the reflection of the morning sun off the Sea of Cortez. Cassie’s still sleeping in the air conditioning on the other side of the curtains darkening our room. It’s November 5, and I […]


April 19, 2015


“Wicker, how you feeling?” “I’m doing alright. How are you?” “Alright? Damn, man, I haven’t heard you say that in way too long.” “Well, if there’s one thing I’ve learned in life… is that you can’t bullshit a bullshiter. Honestly, I’m actually doing alright.” It’s been nearly two months since my last chemo treatment. It’s […]

Spaces In Between.

January 5, 2015


It’s Sunday night, it’s quiet at home, and I’m the exhausted. I’m not sure if it was yesterday’s cross country skiing, today’s powder turns at Discovery Basin, or if it’s from tonight’s curling match my friends and I just won at the community ice center. It doesn’t matter which, not yet, because this is exhaustion […]

Coming Home Again.

December 17, 2014


I’m celebrating my 6- week surgery-versary. It doesn’t sound like a much time, but feels like ten times that. I’m progressing surprisingly well, though everyday continues to be filled with monitoring and problem solving. Once I go the A.O.K from my surgeon, I packed up my colostomy bags and pointed my steering wheel due-west. I […]

Pocket of Joy.

November 24, 2014


Over the course of these past couple weeks, I’ve slowly improved to become slightly useful… unless you count forming an exact imprint of my body in my brother’s couch cushions as a purpose, then I’ve been hard at work. Encouragingly, each day seems to be driven by little victories; a collection of individual grains of […]


November 13, 2014


I’m currently sitting on my brother’s couch in Solon, Iowa, pooping out of my stomach, bleeding into a clear-plastic grenade; my butt-hole sewn completely shut… never in a million years would I be thankful for this current situation. I think it was Steven Segal that said, ‘the anticipation of death is scarier than death itself.’ […]

The Beauty of Cancer.

October 31, 2014


It’s hard not to feel like I’m staring down the barrel of a gun; as if someone is watching you just beyond your eye’s reach. Next Wednesday, November 5, I’ll head into the operating room for a six-hour surgery and week of subsequent recovery in the hospital. Aside from the veil of cancer filtering my world, it’s been a […]